Today I haven't been the greatest mood. I woke up feeling weird and I have been trying to make sense of why I am feeling the way I am. I have been trying to get through today and be happy because my life has been going ok but something is just pulling me the other direction.. I miss my baby girls.
I haven't had a breakdown for awhile so I am trying like hell not to let it happen but I think by the end of today it will. When I don't really hear from the adoptive mom that much and I don't ever hear from the adoptive dad it makes me sad.. When I was pregnant I thought our relationship would continue after the girls arrived but it has really not been the same.
I understand how busy they can be but a phone call, a text, or an email once in awhile to let me know how they are all doing would make me feel a lot better.. I did speak with the mom the other day but our convo was short but it is what it is.
Sometimes I just want to disappear from everyone and just go in the middle of no where and scream as loud as I can until I no longer scream and cry until I can't cry anymore. Days like today just drag and its like I am in a fog and I am just waiting for the air to clear..
I guess for now I will just distance myself more..
idk.. *sigh* the things that were once full just seem empty now.
