Today has been pretty decent.. I have been keeping my mind busy and focused on work. I am feeling better about myself today and I can only improve from here. My heart hurts but I got to ignore the feeling and just keep pushing this weight off of me. Its now the second day I haven't heard anything from my sons dad and I think it should be this way right now so we both can get our minds where they need to be. I don't know about him or if he will ever get his mind where it needs to be but I know I have to. I miss him like crazy and will always love him but if this is the way its suppose to be then I guess I have to deal with it and move on. I have always had to let go of things throughout my life that I wanted to keep but I guess God is telling me to let go :/

I will be okay and I will keep rising and pushing the weight off of me. I have check ups next week and I am excited I get 4 days off. Ya it will be a big cut in my paycheck but damn I think I need a break from everything for a minute to recollect myself and feel rejuvenated.  Nichole has some plans for us and the baby shower is on the 20th. I am excited for her to finally get to have a baby shower I hope she gets great stuff  :) I also get to meet her family and friends. It should be a good week next week.

I keep feeling contractions but they might just be Braxton hicks. I swear these girls are trying to give me a heart attack. Little girls even though you are taking up all the room in my belly and its very hard to do things right now... you still need to stay in there and develop a little bit more before you decide to come. And if you do come early I will only hope and pray you both will be healthy and not have to stay in the hospital long.. but I think the best option is STAY IN THERE! lol.

Well that's all for now..